The Importance of Knowing Stanley

I mentioned soon after my arrival here that I had managed to get a few “guys”. I mean the kind of guy people refer to when something has to be done or acquired and the phrase “I know a guy” is used. My primary is a man named Stanley.

An early purchase was this refrigerator. One of its most defining characteristics, as far as this kitchen is concerned, is that it is normal human sized. This, of course, meant that it wouldn’t fit in the existing fridge-shaped hole in the cupboards. I took on the task of removing these obstacles.

From an amazing hardware store in Maine I got assorted screw drivers (remember all my tools are on a moving van), a pry bar, and hammer, and set to work.

I started on the bottom and, although you can’t tell by looking at it, that there is an example of what Cthulhu can do on the weekend in his garage. It is diabolical.

It doesn’t matter what the diy guides tell you – that cupboard planned to stay there for the next 100 years. I spent hours over a series of days and only managed to strip it down to the carcass.

Stanley came in periodically and would look at my progress. To his credit he never actually smirked.

I finally decided that I’m just too much of a wuss to do even this basic task and asked Stanley to get rid of these_=##?_%#?%_ cupboards for me.

He came over this morning.

I learned some new swear words.

It took a giant reciprocating saw to remove the forest of 2 inch nails holding that thing to the floor and wall. It turns out it wasn’t me. It really was Cthulhu.

— it needs to be said that I wrote the above paragraphs before Stanley came back with a big pot of steamed clams. He was already my hero before the feast! —

Also, I think we found the original 1937 floor under that cupboard. At least I don’t believe this has been in fashion since then.