When the Clouds Part

The wind has started to howl, the temperatures are falling, and we’re supposed to get a lot of snow next week. I don’t care about any of that – my world has changed.

I got my booster shot a couple of days ago and, although there are many things I am not allowed to share with those of you who have yet to join this Club, I can confirm and/or correct a few of the rumours.

One of the most prevalent “conspiracy” theories is that a micro-chip is implanted when you receive your shot. This is actually a very tricky procedure because there is more than one dose in a vial and how anybody knows which one you get (and can therefore track you) is a mystery. It’s not something to worry about.

The truth is that, yes, you get a micro-chip with each of your first two shots. However, they aren’t operational until you get the third. Still, the tracking theory is incorrect. It is much, much better than that and I’ve only begun to read the manual.

I know there are lots of posts and scary stories about a link between the vaccinations and 5G. The truth is that once you have operational chips you can access 6G – and it’s amazing. Pity the poor fools with the older technology.

Another “wild” rumour is that the vaccine will modify your DNA. Based on my experience this is absolutely true and I am really grateful. I’m told I can reveal this to you because you won’t believe me. I just hope you take the chance anyway.

I discovered, almost immediately, that I now have the ability to understand and converse with members of the animal kingdom (the 6G helps). You might think that this is a frivolous way to spend my time but there is so much more.

For centuries people have been trying to convince us that the world is run by a secret Cabal known as the Illuminati. It turns out that it really exists, it really is in charge, and it’s only secret if you don’t have the ability to communicate with them. The next time an animal seems to be trying to tell you something it’s not your imagination. Get your shots and you’ll find out what I mean!